Hey love,
can I tell you a secret? I never understood the PRACTICALITY of modesty until two years ago.
Let me back up for a bit.
Since I started mentoring women many years ago, similar questions would always pop up—
“What should I wear to be modest?”
“Is this (insert article of clothing) modest?”
“What are the dos and don'ts of modesty?”
And my answer was always the same—
It depends.
I always held onto the belief (still do, but we’ll get into it) that modesty is a personal conviction. There is no scripture that highlights a particular piece of clothing as “immodest.”
A quick spiritual test to determine if something you’re wearing is immodest is if Jesus were to walk into the room, would you feel uncomfortable, start to cover up, or hide?
If the answer is “yes” then you’re probably dressed immodestly and the Holy Spirit is trying to convict you.
One of my friends said her test was if she was asked to pray for someone on the spot, would she feel uncomfortable based on what she was wearing.
These are good measures of convictions, however, for some of us shameless women, we probably wouldn’t care because Jesus accepts us anyways!
For those of you who are past that level of basic conviction, I want to challenge you with a PRACTICAL case for modesty.
1. IMAGE 🏞️
You see, feminine women understand their brand and have an awareness of how people perceive them.
Unfeminine women…
❌ lack social awareness
❌ are entitled
❌ don’t value their reputation
This idea that “people should take you as you are” or “if people can’t accept you at your worst then they can’t accept you at your best” is extremely juvenile.
I always say stop trying to fight a system you want to benefit from. If people in your society view certain dressing, presentations, hairstyles, piercings, tattoos, etc in a certain way, then you cannot cry when you actually get perceived in that way.
If you dress like a harlot and people perceive you as promiscuous, then you cannot cry.
If you dress like a rebel (loud hair, many tattoos and piercings) and you get denied for certain job or mating opportunities, then you cannot cry.
We’re not of this world, but we live in it! Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial (1 Corinthians 10:23).
2. RESPECT ✊🏾
It’s amazing to me that a woman would dress up appropriately for a job interview or a meeting with someone they respect the most but believes no one else deserves that same respect.
Feminine women practice modesty as a form of social etiquette. Not only do they respect themselves, but they respect the people around them.
They are cognizant of the clothes they wear, their body shape, and how much skin they’re revealing. This is not from a place of insecurity and body shame. But from a place of love and respect for her fellow neighbor (1 Corinthians 10:24).
You can tell a woman is unfeminine and prideful when she feels no shame and is callous about how what she’s wearing affects others.
3. OPPORTUNITIES 🔝
The higher you go in life, the more you’re aware of how your presentation influences your opportunities.
In the game of hypergamy, you may have to social climb to bag a provider husband. Especially if you live in or come from a low-income area.
Men of lower socioeconomic status do not value marriage and are usually not ambitious. Because of this, they are not as choosey with the type of woman they are with.
Men of means, however, are very cognizant of their reputation and are more cautious with the women they will end up marrying.
Why?
Because she will be his greatest representation to the world around him.
If she does not uphold a certain image or value modesty or chastity, then he will look like a fool to other men. Doors and opportunities will be closed to him simply because of the woman he chose to align himself with.
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So I hope you enjoyed this piece of femininity wisdom today.
In conclusion, modesty goes deeper than spirituality or being prude. There is WISDOM in being socially aware and practicing social etiquette.
Do you agree or disagree? Have you ever considered modesty in this way? Leave a comment in our Facebook group and let’s get this party started! 🎈 (don’t forget to fill out the membership form to gain access!)
