Why You Should Tear Up Your List (Standards vs Preferences)

Preferences or standards...?



Someone just messaged you on Insta.


You open the message and this guy responds to your recent cute story with heart emojis.


Okay... He's probably just a love sick boy, huh?


You click on his profile to see who this guy is. You're secretly thinking he's probably some lame or weirdo.


Your heart drops.


This man is fineeee...!


No, I mean like Morris Chestnut type of fine. Like an Idris Elba a couple of decades younger type of fine.


His deep seated dark eyes are nestled perfectly under the burrow of his brows. His chocolatey brown skin runs like a river down his chiseled face and muscular biceps.


Oh, and honey, did I mention homeboy got a beard? Chileee... I would braid every hair on his face just to look at him everyday.


Your hands fumble clumsily to respond with an overexcited "Thanks!!"


And then, the unlikely happens. You both start talking and get to know each other.


You find out that he's an entrepreneur and owns his own business as well as works for a corporate nonprofit. 


He's a regular church goer, and feeds the homeless every week.


He lives on his own, makes his own money, and drives his own car.




This guy total seems to match everything on your list... but there are only two problems,


One, he doesn't live in your city. Although you both live in the same state, you both live a couple of hours from each other.


He says he really likes talking to you and would like to see you one day. Okay... So when?


He keeps hinting that you should come see him but doesn't outwardly say it.


The second problem is that he's inconsistent. Some days he's quick to respond and he would call and you both would have a great conversation.


And then... He disappears. Only to reappear when you post something on Insta.


You feel nervous but push away the feeling because you know he's busy and he says that he likes you... right? Plus he checks off every box on your list.



Ooooo chileeee...


This is the story of one of my clients. How many of us have found ourselves in a similar position?


Well without spoiling too much of what I'm speaking about in this week's video, I'm gonna tell you right now...


Tear up your list...


... Then rebuild it.


Everyone has preferences, but rarely anyone has standards.


Still confused? Then let's head on over to this week's video:


So perhaps you read that whole narrative and are like...


Girlll... That sounds like half of my experiences with men. I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.


Well, sweetie, you've come to the right place. I have availabilities opened to take new clients this year so all aboard! 


Does your list include standards or just preferences? Let us know in the comments down below!

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Hi, my love!

My name is Jumoke and I am the creator of GodlyFem!

I created this brand to coach Spirit-filled women to level up through the art of godly femininity ✨

I know how it feels to be lost, insecure, and overlooked in life. Channeling the femininity that God put inside me allowed me to level up into the best version of myself.

And I believe this for you too!

If you are ready to step into the abundant life the Lord has promised you while maintaining your inner softness, then you are definitely in the right place 💕